Alhamdulillah guys! I've passed my final MBBS exam! Can finally say this "I made it!" 

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

After years of ups (finger crossed) and downs, I now owned the degree! It's hard to believe that I am finally done with it! Thank God!!

This one too, I would classify as dream came true! Literally.

It was her dream (mum #alfatihah), with their support (abah&mama), hard work & continuous prayers and helps from all the family members, teachers and friends with the permission from Allah The Almighty, that made this possible. I am beyond grateful to have all this to myself.

It was all started orally. See, what we repeatedly say actually matter, so watch your words guys. You know how the elders always asked the "what do you wanna be when you grow up?" question when you were young (toddler) back then? "Doctor" had always been my reply, unconsciously! My mum played major role here, she brainwashed me real good. But to be honest, to go work wearing white coat has never been something I imagined myself in. I had always imagined (dreaming-dreamer ^.^) myself in office workwear, you know, the corporate looking, executive kinda look (successful young lady driving a good car, walk out with heels and office handbag!) Well something like this 👇 exclusive & elegant kyaaaaa 😄😄

Yeah, dream 👆 but still,  who knows what the future holds right? I can still be one of a kind in this field! Just need to work extra hard to achieve something greater. And yeah , bear the early years as young doctor! Don't you ever give up Nadia! If you can't run, walk. Never give up! Remember, give up should never be your option! No matter how hard the current situation you're in, believe, have faith that things will eventually get better, even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise again. So do our life, as long as we don't give up upon it. So cheers to whoever going through hard times, big *virtual hugs* here for you! 💕

Then came the hard work and the SPM result.

Science was never my germ and I always ended up with one B in important exams because of it. And then babammmmm 👇

I got A for Biology!! An A minus, but still, its an "A". My Biology was never A in previous exams and so this SPM result totally changed the game. This "A- Biology" reaffirmed me to choose this path I am in now. I was like 'this result shows that you can learn what you don't know - kita belajar sebab kita tak tahu, sebab kita tak pandai, bukan belajar sebab kita dah pandai, family pun suka' hahahahahaha little did I know that taking something you are good at, something you have passion in, will make the journey much easier and enjoyable.
Well, damage done! 😅   Lucky enough, everything turned out well.
Alhamdulillah 😊.

The moral story here; yes, you can learn something you are not good at enough, you're not passionate, so long as you are responsible enough to make it work. It will work somehow but truth be told it would not be as pleasurable. I  recommend you to take the course you have interest in, you passionate with, something you are good at, the greater the better. It will make your life much easier. Because you know, growing up (teens > adulthood) is quite difficult for some (you sure are lucky if you have good support system -family and all but not many have that luxury to have one), with other life issues that give you as much headache as your coming exams.
Choose wisely, just, don't regret later (hahahahaha don't be like me, in denial till the very end haha).
[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBMOLW8Bpj8 ]

I have more to say, but I'll stop for now.

Anyway, I couldn't publish this post without mentioning the talk I once had with my dad. I don't think anyone know this. Way back in 2010. I remember I said something like this (translated) "Abah, Kakak is so small, and I don't want to forever live like a small person. I wanna be big, stand as tall as others.." (literally)..

and I guess this talk started it all, kinda pumped my dad up I guess. Without Abah (with HIS permission) I am truly nothing at all. We don't have much, we are not rich, but for my education, he sacrificed a lot. For burdening you and the whole family, I am terribly sorry. 

I wasn't a good daughter towards my parents and I aim to be one starting today. To make them happy, to give them what they deserve, to work, improve myself to a better me, to have a stable life are all that I'll strive for from now on. 

Deep down inside me, something feels empty. It's as if  I am only a burden in this world. How I wish she is still here. #Alfatihah.

Alhamdulillah for everything I am blessed with.