mum

6:10 AM

mum..
I miss you..
I really do..
T.T

man..the glitch

4:24 AM

so now it is 10pm gmt+2..

I was in the kitchen earlier cooking something to satisfy my hunger and this sudden thought came across my mind..

"MAN..
I think I am totally frustrated with them..I am afraid being with them..they provide me no safe..I still don't feel protected whilst I am with them, MAN. So how, how? Of course, our prophet (pbuh) is always the guide to the best of the best..he is always the best example if I really need someone as examplary..but then..he is he..man nowdays? Is there's still someone as good as what I dreamt of?"

I dont know anymore..my heart hardened I think..maybe it just broke with those frustrations in the past..

well, maybe this is the best path and phase that has been fated for me..
I believe, if there's something good for me later on, things will change in split second..as it supposed..
and, as for now, focus for what actually matters . triple hearts.  Trust yourself more, for that will bring the confidence into you, nadia xoxo

paediatric conference 2015

10:23 PM

alhamdulillah, thank God for everything..
I can't not be grateful for what He gave me..alhamdulillah alhamdulillah..
after 5 years of 'tak kedepan'..
and there you go..1st Scientific Conference of 5th Undergraduate Students..presented the case for my group presentation..may this be the beginning to  many more successes in the future.. 
thanks mates!
psss bhahahahahhaa..sekali sekala masuk news pcz beb..bhahHahaha zzzzz

marriage? relationship? what actually really matters to me more than those two..

10:04 PM

salam ..

scrolling down my fb and found this..this post really speak my mind ^^
http://aliaabdullah.com/2015/06/03/dear-heartbroken-one/

"Then I realised that I had gotten it all wrong! Yes, marriage is wonderful and encouraged in Islam. However, when the same test (read: guys who were bad for me) keeps being given, it may be that I had not learnt the lesson I am supposed to learn. Allah is giving me a chance to make things right! In order to do that I needed to figure out how to improve myself for the sake of Allah. I had to ask myself some really tough questions. Did I want to get married for the sake of Allah or to gain acceptance and love from my partner? Had I prepared myself not only to bear children but to be the first madrasah to them? Was I knowledgeable enough to guide them to be khalifahs of Allah? Is marriage the only means to complete my faith?
Let’s take the example of Sayyidatina Maryam (‘alayhissalam), also known as Mary. Before Sayyidatina Maryam was even born, her purpose had been set. Her ageing mother had vowed that if her prayer to have a child was accepted, she would ensure that her child would be dedicated to serving Allah. Fulfil her promise, she did. Sayyidatina Maryam wasn’t left to grow up on her own; she was placed under the care of Prophet Zakariya (‘alayhissalam), also known as Zechariah. She was raised in a room in a mosque. She was religious, chaste and modest. She did not mix freely with the opposite sex and confined herself within her prayer chamber. Whenever Prophet Zakariya entered Sayyidatina Maryam’s room to check if she was alright, he would be surprised to find that food had already been served. During winter, there were summer fruits. During summer, he saw winter fruits.
“Where is the food from, Maryam?”
“Allah provides to whom He wills.”
Sayyidatina Maryam was so pure that she was picked to bear Prophet Isa (‘alayhissalaam), also known as Jesus, without being touched by any men. The angels reassured her that Allah had chosen her and purified her and selected her above the women of the worlds. Fearing the reaction of people around her, she fleed to deliver on her own in the middle of a scorching hot desert. Throughout her whole ordeal, she relied on no one other than Allah. She didn’t need anyone, not a husband or even her guardian, to be around.
Imagine how the people around you would react if you suddenly turned up with a newborn, without being married? Sayyidatina Maryam was given the difficult task of keeping quiet when she returned to her village. Naturally, everyone started criticising and cursing her. If you were in her position, would have remained speechless through the injustice that was being done?
Sayyidatina Maryam endured patiently and pointed to her baby. Then, Baby Isa stood up for his mother and informed the crowd that he was a Prophet. Subhanallah!
Without getting married, Sayyidatina Maryam was able to reach the pinnacle of piety. Her status was so high that she has a chapter in the Quran named after her. She showed us that she did not need a man; Allah Himself could defend her honour through His miracle.
How about me?
The purpose of my existence is to know, love and worship Allah. Every action, every step, every thought needs to be focused on Allah. To solve my problem, I had to go to the very root of it – my ever-widening distance from Allah. Am I looking for lovebecause I am ready or because I am lonely?  Am I praying on time? Am I conscious of Allah in everything that I do? Am I reading the Quran consistently? Do I perform taubah and istighfar constantly? What have I been doing to strengthen my relationship with Him? With each answer, it became more and more obvious that my Imaan was on the decline.
Through the awful scrapes and burns and agonizing heartbreaks, I was moved to comprehend that, like Sayyidatina Maryam,  I had to turn to none except Allah. I came to realise that my relationship with Him is the most important relationship of all. Only Allah can grant me strength, courage, love, guidance, protection and patience. Only Allah is capable of making me whole. When I feel whole, I won’t rush to find a partner to complete me. When I feel whole, with Allah by my side, I would be able to bravely walk away from those who try to pry me away from Him. When I am whole, I would be better able to choose someone to share my completeness with and whom can accompany me on my path to Allah.
I’m not saying that I am perfect and that my level of Imaan is anywhere near Sayyidatina Maryam’s. However, things have picked up for me, alhamdulillah. This year, I got married to a man, whom I trust, is able to guide me to be a better Muslim. A man who was brave enough to walk up to my parents and ask for my hand in marriage. A man who made me realize why it never worked out with anyone else. Only when I was brave enough to let go and be the best version of me did Allah grant me someone so gentlemanly that part of me still can’t believe that he exists.
So don’t you worry, my fellow seeker. Allah knows when you’re hurt. Allah knows when you are bereaved. Allah knows when you struggle to get up because all you want to do is curl up in bed and hide from the world. Be sure, that when Allah takes away something from you, He’s only making space for something better. We just have to keep striving…
“Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. Recognize and acknowledge Allah in times of ease and prosperity, and He will remember you in times of adversity. And know that what has passed you by [and you have failed to attain] was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship.” "

yes this.