Hi
It's weekend and I am all stressed. Few things regarding our house still not settle and it has been a week now. So yeah, instead of being caught in those emotion, I thought, lets blabber here. Less emotion = less stress.
Back to main topic. Whilst I was lazying around, laying on bed, being all emo, what happened a month back popped up into my mind. Again. Haha (sooo me guys. I can hardly forget anything I want to forget). It was a regret. I don't want to blame myself though. To me, my intention and thought was correct, it just that the way I approached thing was wrong. But it's fine, I learned the lesson.
So guys,
In any interaction between people, there will always be:
The way they see it - The way you see it - The way it is
Take the example of Dave who usually arrives about 10 to 15 minutes late for a meeting.
The way he sees it : We are supposed to meet at 8 am and I'm here just after that. I don't suppose anyone expects me to be here dead on 8 o'clock.
The way you see it : Dave is so selfish, he just shows up whenever it suits him. I've been here since 7:45 so that we can start at 8 o'clock. He has no respect for me or any of his colleagues.
The way it is : Dave arrived at 8:12 am.
We can get extremely stressed/inconvinient when people don't see things the way we do.
Every human being in this world is different from each other; we are all as different as our fingerprints. Some of us are very similar and that's why we become friends with some people and even share our lives with them. However as you well know, even your closest friends and the person you share your life with still see the world differently from you. Your customers/staff/boss/colleagues see, hear and experience situations in different ways from you. They are not necessarily doing or saying something just to annoy you; it's just the way they see it.
Personal relationships ( mine too :(( ) often come to grief because of this inability to see it the way the other person does. The point has been made several times that we are all different. How often have you been to a play/movie and thoroughly enjoyed it, whereas the person you were with, didn't enjoy it at all. You think: "what's wrong with them?...."
When someone doesn't see things the way you do, there is potential for you to get stressed and collect negative feelings. What then happens is that you dump these negative feelings on the other person, and then you have difficult situation.
The way to avoid these negative feelings is to:
√ Accept people the way they are
√ Decide not to react to other people's behaviour (how I wish I knew this earlier!)
√ Be responsible for your own feelings
√ Change your expectations
√ Ask for help when you need it
√ Communicate from your thinking programme
Fire prevention is a much better course of action than fire fighting. However, fires will break out and behaving assertively will minimise the damage.
And thanks to what happened, I now realised the importance of maintaining a good relationship with others. Yes, I used to be that person who don't really care (I went 'meh'..right is right, wrong is wrong without even wanting to know the reason behind). -,-" . I bet, everything needs time, like me needing time to be more _______ ??
Till then, love:xoxo.
